Whose line is it anyway?

On Sunday I attended an improv session/workshop with some guys from church. Part of the reason we want to develop this skill is so that we can practice writing quirky, unpredictable comedy sketches, and write them quickly. Here are my first three attempts at improvising by myself at the dining room table.

A. Hand me that… whatever it is.
B. Careful, it bites.
A. It’s okay. I’ll just put on these steel gauntlets first.
B. I don’t know if they will help, sir. Just yesterday it chewed through the bars of its cage, and they were made of steel, too.
A. It sounds like the perfect gift for my sister. I’ll take it.

A. I love this time of year.
B. Really? It’s my least favorite. So many bugs.
A. That’s why I love it so much. I love bugs.
B. Is that why we’re wandering through this swamp? You’re looking for bugs?
A. Actually, I just forgot where I parked.
B. Great, now we’re stuck here in the middle of a swamp and you can’t remember a thing. You’re always getting me into these messes.
A. I get a little absent-minded in the summer. Don’t judge me, it’s just how I am.
B. Maybe I would have a little more patience with you if you hadn’t run over my schnauzer.
A. He looked so sad. His soft little eyes pleaded with me to end it all.
B. So now you can talk to dogs! What’s next, telepathic communication?
A. Shh! I’m picking up a signal from outer space.

A. You can’t do that anymore.
B. Why not? Why can’t I eat my Happy Meal in the ball pit?
A. You’re a grown man. The play area is for children.
B. Mom, you can just look the other way.
A. No, Andy. I’ve been doing that for too many years. Now look what I’ve let you become!
B. Don’t be upset, Mom. I’m sorry. I’ll start wearing my big boy pants from now on.